Saturday, January 3, 2015

Our Best Wishes for the Winter Solstice

Dear readers

We were going to wish you a Happy New Year, as we have done these past years, but after legal counsel, we were advised to rethink our actions, since wishing you a good year, good health and prosperity would submit us to a liability risk. Therefore, we are posting a corrected version of our wishes, which is in compliance with the precautionary principles brought to our attention.

New formulation: We ask you to accept, without any obligation implicit or explicit on your part, our best wishes on the occasion of the winter solstice and the first of the year, in line with the tradition, the religion or the existentialist values of your choice, including your right to demonstrate your indifference to popular festivities as scheduled.

These wishes are more particularly:

1) health: this does not mean that we are assuming any particular knowledge of your medical record, or of any desire to interfere with the confidential dialog established with your physician or your insurer.

2) prosperity: it being understood that we do not know any of the amount shown on your statement of income, your tax rate and the amount of taxes and contributions which you are responsible for.

3) happiness: knowing that the assessment of this value is left at your discretion and that it is not our intention to recommend you such or such type of happiness.

Nota Bene: The concept of new year is based, for reasons of convenience, on the Gregorian calendar, which is the one most commonly used in daily life in the region from which these wishes are sent to you. This choice in no way reflects a desire to proselytize. The legitimacy of the other chronologies used by other cultures is absolutely not put in doubt.

Finally, the use of the English language does not imply a value judgment. This choice is due to the fact that it is most commonly practiced by the authors. Any other idiom has the right to respect, including its speakers.

These wishes are freely transferable to anyone without compensation or royalties. Their reproduction is authorized. They were not the subject of any legal deposit. They are valid for a duration of one year.

These wishes are available without prior limitation linked to the concepts of age, gender, physical ability or mental, race, ethnicity, origin, community claimed, of sexual practices, diet, of political, religious or philosophical beliefs, trade union membership, that might characterize the recipients. Their results are, in no case, guaranteed and the absence, total as partial, of achievement does not open right to compensation.

After this preamble we would like to send our best wishes.

Tom and Madeleine

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Note: Unfortunately we can not take credit for the originality of this spoof on political correctness. Our friend Daniel/Tintin wrote the original version in an, albeit archaic language called 'French'. We took the liberty of translating it and posting it here.