Cashanova

By Juliette Kando

Once upon a time there was a village where the people had everything. Actually they had too much of everything. They had too much food, too many gadgets, too much furniture and toys for the children. They had so much stuff there was no room left for the people. The streets and highways were jam-packed full of cars and trucks. The houses were so crammed with things that there was not enough space left for the people to live comfortably.Every time they wanted to, say, walk from the living room to the kitchen, they would bump into furniture and have to move things out of the way, just so they could reach the kitchen to cook a meal. Nothing needed to be made anymore and no one wanted to buy anything. This was very sad because now the people had no work to do and they could not earn any money to pay the bills because there were no jobs.

Then one day, Cashanova arrived in the village and said:‘I’ll pay you if you’ll work for me.’
‘Oh yes, said the villagers, what kind of work do you have for us to do?’
‘It’s telephone sales, you know, gathering information.’
‘Oh yes,’ the villagers said. What kind of information?’
‘Find out who needs what and then I can sell it to them.’
‘But nobody needs anything. We all have too much of everything, that is our problem.’
‘Hhm, I see, well then you could be selling shares of my companies to each other.’
‘Oh yes, what kind of companies? What do the companies make, what services do they provide?’ The villagers asked.
‘Never mind that.’ Cashanova said a little irritated knowing full well that his companies weren’t actually making anything or providing any services. They were financial companies only selling shares in other companies that were also selling shares in other companies etc…
But the people in the village didn´t know this and they were so desperate for cash that they agreed to work for Cashanova. Soon enough they were earning a good commission on every sale they made to one another. Now everybody in the village could pay their bills and could even afford to buy more and more shares in companies.

Until one day, for some unexplainable reason, the share prices of the companies went down and down until all the companies went bust.

‘What are we going to do now?’ the villagers asked Cashanova. Upon which Cashanova replied:

Tell you what: If the government gives me. 2 trillion dollars, I will lend everyone money again so you guys can buy a lot of things again. That’ll take care of everybody’s problem.’

The village elder by the name of Robama said to Cashanova:‘But we already told you, we don’t want to buy anymore things, nobody needs anything. We all have too much of everything, that is our problem. It’s better if the government gives the money directly to our people. I am awfully sorry but we don´t need you anymore Cashanova.’
And now Cashanova was crying. Robama and the villagers were compassionate people so they conferred for a while and then Robama said:
‘Oh, all right then, stop crying, I’ll ask congress if they will let you have a small share of the 2 trillion dollars, just to tie you over while you find another job.’
Now the people of the village could pay their bills again and instead of spending money on useless consumer goods they started doing other things like making art with unwanted packaging or joining meditation groups, or growing herbs, or studying the solar system, or playing the flute, and a million other things not advertised on television.
After a few months Cashanova found a volunteer job helping out pensioners who had lost all their savings to private pension companies that had gone bust.
And they all lived happily ever after.
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