Backyard Therapy

by Madeleine Kando

I am reading the latest earth shattering news on my computer screen: the US has been downgraded from its triple-A status, the stock market has crashed and the economy is heading towards a double-dip recession. I should know better than starting my day by reading the news.

My eye catches some commotion outside my large bay window. Squirrels, jackrabbits, cardinals, pigeons and yellow finches have gathered here in this New England backyard to feast on our generously scattered birdseeds. Suddenly, for some reason only known to these creatures, they all disperse in every imaginable direction, like the rays of a shooting star.

My eyes wander back to my screen where I see burning buildings caused by the riots in London. Police with helmets and clubs are chasing the crowd. I am almost expecting my screen to explode with all this violence and mayhem inside of it.

My eyes wander back. Our local jackrabbit has taken refuge in the tall grass and is looking straight at me with his big brown eyes. His nose is moving a mile a minute. What caused him to run and leave the little pile of seeds that he was so intensely munching on? Soon, the creatures are back, digging, pulling and eating, their movements are jerky and quick, ready for yet another instant retreat to safety.

Have these creatures no shame? To be so self-involved that the horrors inside my screen don't affect them? How can that enormous tree that the squirrels fly off to, be so impervious to what's happening? It's just standing there, decade in and decade out. Nothing bothers it, short of being hit by lightning. How I wish I could be like that…

But being a human, I was cursed the moment I was born when someone had the bright idea to give me a conscience. Why? Who needs it? Everything I was told is a lie. I was told that the world is a mysterious place, full of possibilities. That if you work at it hard enough you can make it a better place. Really?

Back to my screen: Oops, the market went down another 500 points. There goes another 10% of our hard earned investment. And I didn't even have time to make my second cup of coffee.

I am listening to a Program on NPR about Pakistan having one of the fastest growing populations in the world and how parents face the terrible choice of defying their religious leaders, who say that women should have as many babies as they can because birth control is a sin.

The voice on the radio explains rationally that the Mullah's words are sacred. But my cursed conscience makes me want to scream: 'Why don’t you hang this Mullah up by his balls? Why do you give him the power to ruin your lives, your unborn children's lives?"

I look back at the tree, the squirrels, the jack rabbits and the finches.. Ok. I get it. You guys have a secret and you won't share it with me, right? I mean if you shared your secret on how to avoid high blood pressure and chronic depression, it wouldn't be a secret for very long, would it?

I can hear you think: 'Why don't you turn off your damned computer? Stop whining already!' Well, my conscience won't let me, see? It's a conundrum. My twin sister is much wiser. She doesn't 'do' news and I envy her for it. She is on her way to becoming a beautiful tree.

Yes, maybe I should stop punishing myself, stop being such a masochist. Become a 'no news' person. And learn how to become a tree.. Don't those cute little creatures in my backyard look a lot happier than the people on my computer screen?

Something has crashed into my large bay window. I see a flurry of feathers and a pair of large, powerful wings. It has caught something in mid-air and has landed in the grass. I see a beautiful red-tailed hawk hold down a struggling pigeon with bloodied feathers, and in an instant he flies away with his prey dangling from his huge claws.

I wonder if the flock of pigeons that have survived the attack will start a riot in my backyard, holding up signs that say: 'WE WANT JUSTICE' and 'HAWKS GO HOME'! leave comment here