Thursday, October 3, 2013

Driving in Holland



The Dutch are known for their liberal policies. They have legalized prostitution and the recreational use of Marijuana, same sex marriage and euthanasia. These policies are not entirely altruistic; by legalizing sex and drugs, the Dutch government is raking in millions in taxes. But these sources of revenue are peanuts compared to what the government earns as a result of their insanely complicated parking system and their exorbitant speeding fines.

In Holland the speed limit is neatly marked on signs the size of postage stamps. By the time you have taken out your binoculars, a camera has already fined you for speeding. Five or ten miles over the speed limit and you are in deep Dutch doo doo. Nobody in Holland seems to mind that the speed limit changes every five minutes or that road sections under construction have two or three different speed limits. It is not clear which one overrides the other.

Even though the nice GPS lady in your car politely warns you of speed traps, she is also pre-programmed to take the ‘ecological’ route. Before you know it, you find yourself driving your minuscule eco-rental in the middle of an ecological cow field at which time her sing-song voice kicks in with the refrain: ‘route recalculation’.

And what’s with the ‘You have now reached your stopliver’? What on earth is a stopliver? Is it the GPS trying to pronounce a Dutch word for ‘destination’? There is that, you know, the danger zone between two languages. My daughter Aniko pointed that out to me, when we drove by the town of ‘Castricum’. ‘Mom’ she said, ‘everything is wrong with that word. How can they give a town such a name?

Once you have passed the hurdles of highway driving and arrived at your ‘stopliver’, you are faced with the serious challenge of parking. Parking regulations are set by each town government, which means that the rules are different everywhere. If you haven’t taken the time to research the rules of parking, which would take longer than study for a PhD, you probably will get a ticket, no matter how hard you try to follow the rules. In Amsterdam, finding a parking space is as rare as spotting a nun in a bikini, but figuring out how to pay the six dollars an hour fee (ahead of Tokyo, Geneva, New York and San Francisco), is almost impossible.

Parking meters are a thing of the past here, just a centrally located machine. The new 'digitized' paying system doesn’t accept cash, credit cards or foreign debit cards, which is a bit of a problem for a foreigner like me. I have to ask a passerby if he would be kind enough to pin his Dutch debit card in return for cash. I feel like Blanche Dubois in ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’ when she says: ‘I have always been dependent on the kindness of strangers’. But that isn’t the end of it. Now the digitized system wants my license plate number. Piece of cake, memorizing random letters and numbers is my favorite pass time on my vacation. A mad dash to the car before the transaction time expires, back to key in the number, wait for proof of payment… wait for proof of payment… wait for… there is no proof of payment.

After a three-hour visit to the Rijksmuseum, I come back to the car, where I find a neatly folded 90 dollar parking ticket stuck under the windshield wiper. All told, my visit to the Rijksmuseum has cost me 120 dollars. Was it worth is? At least I got a story out of it. But be forewarned if you plan on visiting Amsterdam; drug dealers, junkies, pick pockets, urinating in public, those are minor hazards compared to the dangers of parking. leave comment here

8 comments:

Csaba said...

So darling, why don't you walk, take the streetcar (not that of T.Williams), hire a bike, or if you feel luxurious grab a taxi??

The renovated Rijksmuseum is fabulous and there are lots of people, who all told, probably pay more than a 120 bucks to see it!

Paul de Haas said...

I feel your pain.
Last time I rented a car, I decided to have a quick look at the beach (about 20 km from Amsterdam) It was 1:00 in the morning. There was not a soul around. 3 weeks later I receive a speeding ticket (from some Dutch court) in my mail box in the US. apparently I had been going 6 km over the speedlimit (50 km)I thought only the US had gone insane

Paul ten Have said...

when you travel, you will find that things are different from what you are used to, some of things will surprise you, make you happy or mad, so what can you do? complain afterwards or prepare yourself beforehand. if you like complaining go ahead expecting the world to be the same allover. alternatively, use the internet: type 'parking amsterdam' and 'driving in holland', and you'll get: http://www.amsterdam.info/parking/ & http://www.alltravelholland.com/Holland/Car_Rental/Driving_Tips.htm

Read the instructions and be prepared, unless you just love complaining of course

Madeleine said...

Paul de Haas feels my pain, Paul ten Have is offended. Well, you cannot win them all as a blog writer.

Dutch taxes on gasoline is one of the highest in the world, at 68.84% of the total price. Parking fees and parking violations in Amsterdam are higher than in most other countries, and to make things even more pleasant, the Dutch will start taxing drivers by kilometer!

A sense of humor might come in handy for Dutch car owners. But complaining is ok by me too, you decide.

Carol Anita Ryan said...

I enjoyed your post. It's informative and entertaining. Everyone knows the Dutch do many things right. But, no culture is perfect.

Paul ten Have said...

Madeleine, you wrote "Paul ten Have is offended". This is misreading my comment. How could I be offended? I am not responsible for you the experiences you had. Instead felt sorry for you and thought about how your problems could have been avoided. So let me explain things a bit.
The speed limits problem is indeed complicated. The government is under public pressure to allow higher speeds, but local circumstances prohibit an overall 130 km/h limit, so speeds limits vary and drivers have to be alert on speed signs. The Netherlands is a densely populated country which means more cars. As Tom writes, our government spends more on roads, etc., in short public goods, than the US, so we pay higher taxes and fines.
The parking problem has in part a similar background. Our city centers were not built for cars, so there is not enough space to park the cars of visitors. The rates are high to discourage people to visit cities like Amsterdam by car; instead many take public transport facilities. If you cannot avoid taking a car, one is advised to take one of the underground parking facilities, like the one on Museumplein, near the Rijksmuseum, which has 600 places. It was in order to inform others who might be put off by your descriptions that I included the URLs to various information sites on parking, and for you on a possible next visit!
Maybe my ironic style put you off, but I did not feel ‘offended’.

Madeleine said...

Thanks Paul, for your clarification. Phew! Another conflict based on miscommunication averted.



I also appreciate your wise and calm explanation, as expected from a wise and 'nuchter' Dutchman. Of course, I knew all this and part of me is in awe of how Holland manages its transportation affairs, but I thought I'd poke (a little) fun at the Dutch.

Besides, you cannot blame me, I am from Hungary; we tend to be hotheaded.

sharon said...

Love it!! Thanks for sharing.

Sharon

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