Obsolete Man

Tom Kando 

On February 24, I posted a piece titled Am I Becoming a Luddite? I pointed out some of the dangers of AI. I am not alone in feeling apprehensive about artificial intelligence. For example, Microsoft Chief Economist Michael Schwarz predicts that AI will cause real damage (Sacramento Bee, May 5, 2023). 

Now I want to complain about something related, namely my dysfunctional relationship with machines and technology. We are becoming more and more the prisoners of our machines. I increasingly hate my machines. 

It starts with the telephones - both land lines and cell phones: The dozens of daily robocalls and junk text messages (among others, an insane number of political requests for money). To be sure, there is “call screening,” “call blocking,” “unsubscribe,” etc. but these often only work temporarily and they raise different problems, such as missing the occasional important call. 

Then there are the computers, the iPads, etc: The daily torrent of spam and junk e-mails, plus technical problems. For instance, I have over a hundred Kindle books on my Apple iPad. The other day I wanted to alphabetize them. I first called Apple for help, but they passed the buck and told me to call Amazon, because Kindle is an Amazon app. I spent the next three hours on the phone with an Amazon technician who tried to guide me. She was difficult to understand due to her accent, and together we did NOT succeed. After a wasted afternoon, my Kindle e-books are still pell-mell. 

Of course, there are innumerable other machines that surround us - in the kitchen, the laundry room, the garage, in every other room, even in the backyard. 

The kitchen alone has more machines than a factory: Ovens, stove, microwave, dishwasher, refrigerator, garbage disposal, egg beaters, blenders, food processors from France, on and on... Dishwashers, for instance, can be a real bitch. Nowadays they come with a huge array of options, including Wi-Fi. Our last one malfunctioned and we tried to fix it for months, calling the repair guys of course, but we finally had to throw in the towel and replace it. Our timeshare dishwasher in Hawaii kept beeping all night, depriving us of our sleep, until they fixed it. 

 

Washers and dryers can be frustrating too, especially overseas, as the instructions are unintelligible. 

Even simply changing the batteries in your thermostat can be a challenge. Opening the box without breaking it requires skill and patience so as not to break it. 

And don’t forget the cars! The newer your car is, the more nightmarish the dashboard: Even our old car’s GPS is so impossible to use that we rarely do. The GPS alone came with a 150-page manual. So we stick with our iPhone’s Google map, which is fine. 

Our newer car’s dashboard has a dizzying number of buttons, many of them built into the steering wheel. The other day I accidentally knocked one of these buttons on my steering wheel with my elbow. My radio dial disappeared. I drove to a local car repair place around the corner and I asked an 18-year old mechanic for help. He got me my radio dial back in 30 seconds.. 

Sometimes I am equally helpless when I want to pay through self-pay at the supermarket, for instance when I am buying something that’s not priced, like vegetables. 

I hear you say: Hey Tom, the problem is YOU. Right. I am old and increasingly stupid with machines. I am obsolete: I am enormously erudite. I know a great many things. I speak four languages fluently. I read Homer and Plato IN ANCIENT GREEK. I know many of Mozart’s KV (Kõchel-Verzeichnis) numbers. I can sing along with Richard Strauss’ Rosenkavalier. I can recite all 44 European countries. But my knowledge is useless. I am a relic. 

When I am confronted with a mechanical problem, I panic. My urge is to start pushing this and that button, but that increases my anxiety, because I fear that it’ll make things worse. Soon I’ll have to call for a technician to change a light bulb (joke). 

They say that we should express gratitude for challenges, as they make us more resilient, and they provide us with lessons. Yay! I am getting free new lessons every day! leave comment here