Confessions of an Addict

by Madeleine Kando

I am suffering from S.C.A. (severe computer addiction). It started with a case of M.C.A. (mild computer addiction) but as all addictions do, it got worse. I find myself waking up in the morning and instead of going out and walking the dog with his full bladder, I sleepwalk to my desk and squint at my 24 inch intel Mac ready for my morning fix.
I know I am addicted because, rather than getting up out of my chair when I have to ask my husband something (he is sitting in the other room, getting his morning fix on HIS computer), I skype him instead. There are other symptoms too. The urge to ‘google’ every little thing that pops up in my head. When I cannot decide how to fix my hair I sit down and I google it. It is getting so bad, I have even started to google things like ‘how to sit properly while you google’. ‘I am bored googling, what do I do?’ And ‘how to come up with things to google’.

Then there is my social life. I admit, it wasn’t all that great to begin with, but it is now totally moribund. Reduced to a pathetic two-dimensional electronic version of what it should be. My family is so spread out (mom in Holland, daughter in California, sister in Spain etc) that it would be impractical to meet in the flesh, so, in that sense my computer helps me stay in touch. But friends? Nah..I rarely go for a cup of coffee with a friend these days. Unless I have my lapbook with me of course.

I am seriously thinking of going to a detox program. They do exist you know. But I don’t think they allow any portable electronic devices, so I don’t know.. Short of that, I could call the Kaufmans, the only couple I know that does not even have a working computer. They live in a remote part of Northern New Hampshire where they ride their horses, build things on their land, walk their dogs, enjoy the bugs in the summer and hundreds of acres of snow covered trees in the winter. They only acquired electricity very recently. I used to think of them as hicks who are loosing out on the ‘high tech revolution’. ‘Poor saps’, I thought, ‘they don’t know what they are missing. They actually still write letters to people! With a pen of all things.’
But now I call them up in desperation, begging to be invited to come and visit. I called Janice up recently for that same reason, to ask her if I could come and spend a few days. ‘Sure’ she said. ‘Bring some books and maybe a few dvd’s. No computers. And mind the detours on the way up. They are working on Rte 93.’ I did pack lots of sturdy 3-dimensional objects without electronic components like interesting books, dvd’s, magazines. I packed crochet needles, puzzles, my little dog,.. As I was packing I saw my netbook on the side of the bed and packed that too. That doesn’t count as an addictive device does it? It’s only 8 inches across. It’s really a pretend computer. Besides what if I get lost on the way because of all the detours? After all, I have to be able to stop somewhere and google my way to Janice. leave comment here