The Dimple Effect

by Madeleine Kando

Have you noticed that the majority of people you see on t.v. have dimples? It makes you wonder if their job application includes a line-item that reads: 'Are you or have you ever been endowed with dimples?'

I don't know what it is about dimples. It certainly draws the attention, like an exclamation mark after a sentence. When I watch an anchor with dimples, I stop listening to what she says, completely caught up in what her dimples are doing. They come and go, grow and vanish, travel up and down. Dimples have a life of their own.

I suppose dimples are endearing, it gives someone a cute appearance, reminiscent of a child. It makes you want to squeeze those cheeks. Actors also are often blessed with this kind of deformity. Yes, it is considered a deformity by the medical profession. It is caused by a split in the zygomaticus major, the muscle that pulls on the corners of your mouth when you smile. Normal people, like you an me have a single zygomaticus, but dimpled people have a zygomaticus in the shape of a catapult. The skin gets pulled in when they smile, like the strap on the catapult. Think of it as making a quilt, make a stitch, pull on the string and voila, a dimple appears.

I know what you are thinking: 'who cares about dimples? There are more important things in life'. But I believe that un-dimpled members of society are suffering from 'dimple discrimination'. There is data out there showing that tall adults tend to earn more money than short ones, although some researchers insist that tall people earn more because they are smarter. I don't believe that dimples would make me smarter. I believe that the 'dimple effect' runs deep in our society and it is the duty of us non-dimpled individuals to fight for our rights.

It's not just cheek dimples that gets you preferential treatment. Chin dimples will get your foot in the door in many situations too. Look at all the male actors with chin dimples: John Travolta, Russell Crow, Shawn Penn.. You are not so naïve as to think that they got where they are because of talent, do you?

In the 50's, it was practically a must to have a chin dimple. Big stars like Cary Grant, Gregory Peck, Robert Mitchum, they all had chin dimples. Kirk Douglas had dimples all over the place, on his cheeks, on his chin and maybe on other, less exposed body parts. He might even have had 'Venus dimples', you know those two indentations on the top part of your buttocks.

Butt dimples are popular these days, when lower-back and upper butt exposure has reached an all-time high. They would have been a waste a few decades ago when women's fashion was waste high. It might make you look like a pin cushion from the back, but I hear men really go for it.

The dimple effect has made a lot of plastic surgeons rich and I was amazed at how many search results there are for 'fake dimples', i.e. using make-up. But I say: 'Stop emulating the dimpled, stand up for your rights!'

If you feel you have been discriminated against because of your non-dimple status, please call the 'no-dimples' help line at 781-663-4675 (781-NODIMPL). leave comment here