by Madeleine Kando
The recent public lynching of Paula Deen over her one-time use of the N-word has motivated me to do some research on euphemisms. As a non-native speaker, I fully appreciate how much spice and color they add to the English language. I absolutely adore them. This is ironic, since the function of euphemisms is to avoid saying something unpleasant, offensive or taboo. So not saying something makes a language richer?
In the case of the N-word, the original word is still around, so we at least know what it means. But some other words have not been that lucky; the euphemism has completely obliterated the original word, killed it outright, knocked it off, rubbed it out, terminated it with extreme prejudice. The word 'bear', for instance is a euphemism for a taboo word denoting a large, dangerous, hairy killer. The original word has been lost forever.
One of the problems with new unspoiled euphemisms is that they soon get contaminated with the same negative connotations as the original, so we have to come up with a euphemism for a euphemism. Before purists messed with it, the word 'toilet' was completely neutral. The classy French still use it in its original meaning. Here, it soon got replaced by the word ‘bathroom’, which spawned bathroom humor as well as absurd expressions like ‘the dog went to the bathroom on the rug’. So we had to replace 'bathroom' with 'lavatory' and 'restroom', although I have never seen anyone rest in a bathroom.
There are many tools in a language's shed to create euphemisms. You can tiptoe around what you really mean by using circumlocutions: 'That furry thing with long ears that likes to eat carrots', you can abbreviate the offensive words: 'sob instead of son of a bitch', you can mispronounce it: 'goldarnit, freakin', or you can substitute a term of foreign origin: 'derriere, perspire'.
Eating, procreating and dying are the prime targets for euphemisms. Contemporary euphemisms for death are quite colorful and someone who has died is said ‘to have passed away, bit the big one, bought the farm, croaked, given up the ghost, kicked the bucket, gone south, tits up, shuffled off this mortal coil, or assumed room temperature’. Once you are dead and buried, you are said to be ‘pushing up daisies’ or ‘taking a dirt nap’. You are ‘worm food’.
There are a few euphemisms for killing, which are neither respectful nor playful, but rather clinical and detached. Some examples of this type are 'to terminate' or ‘to take them for a ride, to do them in, to frag, smoke’, or ‘waste someone’.
The Military has been instrumental in perfecting the art of 'doublespeak', in an effort to mask the horrors of war by removing its emotional component. Terms like 'friendly fire, collateral damage and extreme prejudice' don't sound nearly as gruesome as 'killed by your buddies', 'death of innocent civilians' and ' killing without mercy.' This obscene distortion of the use of language reminds me of the live coverage of Operation Desert Storm in 1991. I remember being glued to my TV set, watching the killing 24/7. I wasn't sure if I was watching a video game or live action.
Military doublespeak goes far beyond the pale in its manipulation of language to justify violence and destruction. This is what George Orwell meant when he said: 'Political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.'
Sex and its derivatives are taking first place in the spawning of euphemisms. I found at least 300 words for male genitalia and 160 for making love. Here are some of my favorites: batter dip the corn dog, bouncing the pogo stick, butter the muffin, park the Plymouth into the garage of love and taking the skin boat to tuna town.
At least everyone knows what the N word stands for but what about other acronyms? The D word could be short for 'Death', but if you lived in Arizona it might be short for the dreaded 'Drought'. What about the M word? Murder? Marijuana? Or the Z word? Zombie? Zero Tolerance? It's hard to keep track of.
Interestingly people who suffer a stroke and whose speech has been affected, don't lose their ability to curse. It is more akin to a dog's bark whereas the use of euphemisms is part of higher order intelligence. A sophisticated kind of swearing.
No matter how you slice it, euphemisms are here to stay. They serve as a pressure valve but have the nasty habit of distorting the truth. The trick is to know when someone is trying to pull the wool over your eyes, when you are bamboozled, when someone is trying to pull a fast one on you and take you for a ride. Then its time to cut through the BS, clear the air and tell it like it is. Or you might just as well play patsy. I mean who wants to be a doormat, a schmuck? You don't want to be branded with the R word, do you? leave comment here
