by Tom Kando
Il ya quelques jours, j’ai rencontré un personnage qui m’a bouleversé. Je rentrai chez moi du supermarché, roulant lentement dans mon quartier. Quoique nous habitons dans une banlieue assez chic, depuis quelques années il y de plus en plus de clochards, même près de chez nous. C’est un signe directe de l’accroissement rapide de l’injustice, l’inégalité et la pauvreté partout en Amérique.
Or, quand je tourne a droite a un croisement, j’aperçois une femme sur le trottoir, avec son petit chariot de supermarché, avec quelques sacs et valises là-dedans, et aussi un tas d’habits entassés pêle-mêle. J’estime que son âge n’est pas très loin du mien, au tour de soixante-dix ans. Elle est bien habillée, ses cheveux blancs sont bien peignés, et elle a l’air bien propre, donc je me demande si elle est une clocharde et une mendiante ou pas. Ce qui me frappe le plus c’est la grande beauté de son visage. Elle est entrain de ranger ses affaires, soulevant péniblement ses valises pour mieux les remettre.
Je m’arrête et je lui demande si je peux l’aider. Sa réponse est évasive. J’offre de l’amener a sa destination. Elle répond «Non, merci».
Finalement je lui offre quelques dollars. Elle accepte. Cela confirme donc qu’elle est indigente. J’offre une dernière fois de l’amener quelque-part, un abris quelconque peut-être, mais elle refuse de nouveau, poliment.
Je la laisse, je rentre chez moi, les larmes aux yeux.
Cette expérience me remplit de divers sentiments – douleur, pitié, même une sorte d’amour immédiat, on pourrait dire. Voire cette femme, poussant un petit chariot avec TOUT ce qu’elle possède au monde. Vivre le dernier morceau de sa vie sur le trottoir, sans abris, sans famille…
Je remarque souvent, récemment, la dignité et le self-respect de ces gens. Il ya quelques semaines, lorsque j’offrait un peu d’argent a une autre vagabonde, elle refusa carrément. Et il y a quelques jours, j’en an vu une qui achetai un café a Starbucks, mais pas pour elle-même : Elle sortit du bistrot et alla donner le café qu’elle venait d’acheter a un musicien de rue qui jouait juste au coin!
La belle vieille dame dont je parle aujourd’hui incarne la tragédie qui engouffre l’Amérique en ce moment : Il y a des dizaines de milliers de gens comme-ça maintenant, et plus chaque jour. Et en même temps, il y a des milliers de multimillionnaires qui deviennent plus riches chaque jour et qui ne savent pas quoi faire avec leurs fortunes. Jeff Bezos, le PDG a Amazon, a une fortune de 160 milliards de dollars – plus que l’économie TOTALE de 80% de tous les pays du monde !
Et puis il y a le reste du peuple, le grand « milieu. » La plupart de la population travaille dur et survit, plus ou moins.
Mais quand il s’agit des pauvres, le « grand milieu » s’en fout complètement. Une chose assez dégoutante m’est arrivée déjà plusieurs fois : Un soir, je sortais pour aller diner avec quelques collègues. Nous marchions vers le restaurant et quand nous passames un mendiant, je me suis arrêté pour lui donner quelques dollars. Alors un ou deux de mes collègues m’on engueulé – "faut pas faire ça, le mendiant pourrait t’attaquer, et d’ailleurs il gaspillera ton argent pour de la drogue en tout cas!"
J’essaye parfois de me mettre a la place d’un de ces clochards/mendiants, de m’imaginer que ça pourrait être moi.
Apres tout, la plus grande différence entre les gens c’est la VEINE. Y a des gens qui ont pas mal de chance dans la vie (comme moi), et y en a qui n’en ont pas. C’est tout. Le reste, c’est des bêtises, - toute cette connerie que tout le monde croit - , que si tu es riche c’est moralement ton droit, parce-que tu as fait plus d’effort, et parce-que tu es plus doué, et si tu es pauvre c’est ta faute, etc. Quelle connerie! En vérité, chacun de nous aurait pu en finir comme la belle vieille dame qui n’acceptait pas mon aide. Que s’est-il passé, pour que sa vie en finisse en horreur ? Est-elle tombée a travers les mailles du filet récemment ? Elle semblait encore être si bien soignée. Elle n’avait pas encore abandonné la bataille. Avait-elle peut-être perdu sa maison récemment dans le feu de foret de Paradise, ou dix-sept mille maisons furent brulées ?
Comment réagit-on au désastre qui attaque a la fin de sa vie ? Après avoir passé toute une vie en travaillant et en faisant tout son mieux pour ne pas tomber, pour garder son équilibre? Et soudain, on perd tout, on est dans la rue, on dort sur le trottoir, et c’est le dernier chapitre.
Je n’ai rien fait pour cette femme. J’aurais pu l’inviter a dormir dans une de nos chambres. Nous en avons plusieurs de vide. Et l’ajouter a notre salle a manger nous couterai presque rien…
Translation:
WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE SIDE-WALK, AND I DON’T
I recently had an encounter that upset me. I was driving home slowly from the supermarket. Even though we live in a pretty upscale suburb, there are more and more homeless in recent years, even near us. This is a direct sign of the rapid increase in injustice, inequality and poverty in America.
Thus, I turn right at an intersection, and I notice a woman on the sidewalk, with her little supermarket cart, with a few bags and suitcases in it, and a bunch of clothes piled up pêle-mêle. I figure that her age isn’t too far from mine, somewhere in the seventies. She is well dressed, her white hair is combed neatly and she appears to be clean, so I’m wondering whether or not she is a vagrant and a beggar or not. What strikes me the most is the great beauty of her face. She is busy tidying up her things, painfully lifting her suitcases so as to re-arrange them.
I stop and I ask whether I can help her. Her reply is evasive. I offer to take her to her destination. She answers, “no, thank you.”
I finally offer her a few dollars. She accepts. This confirms that she is indigent. I offer for the last time to take her somewhere, maybe some shelter. But she refuses again, politely.
I leave her and return home, teary-eyed.
This experience fills me with various emotions - pain, pity, even a sort of immediate love, one could say. To see this woman, pushing a small cart with ALL that she owns in this world. To live the last part of one’s life on the sidewalk, with no shelter, no family.
I often notice, recently, the dignity and the self-respect of such people. A few weeks ago, when I offered a bit of money to another homeless person, she categorically refused. And a few days ago, I saw one who bought a cup of coffee at Starbucks, but not for herself: She exited the café and walked over to give the coffee which she had just bought to a street musician who was playing right around the corner!
The beautiful woman about whom I’m writing today represents the tragedy which is engulfing America today.: There are now tens of thousands of such people, and more every day. And at the same time, there are thousands of multi-millionaires who are getting richer every day and who don’t know what to do with their fortunes. Jeff Bezos, Amazon’s CEO, is worth $160 billion - more than the GDP of 80% of the world’s countries!
And then there is the remainder of the people, the great “middle.” Most of the population works hard and survives more or less. But when it comes to the poor, the “great middle” couldn’t care less. A rather disgusting thing has happened to me several times recently: One night, I was going out to diner with a few colleagues. We were walking towards the restaurant and when we came by a beggar, I stopped to give him a few dollars. So a couple of my colleagues bawled me out - “You shouldn’t do that, the beggar could attack you, and besides he’ll blow your money on drugs anyway!”
I sometimes try to put myself in the shoes of one of these homeless/beggars, to imagine that it could be me. Afer all, the biggest difference between people is LUCK. Some people are pretty lucky in life (as I was) and some not so. That’s all. The rest is nonsense. All this bullshit which everyone believes - that if you are rich it’s your moral right, because you made a greater effort, and because you are more gifted, and if you are poor, it’s your own fault, etc. What bullshit! In reality, everyone of us could have ended up like the beautiful woman who wouldn’t accept my help. What happened, to end her life in horror? Did she fall through the cracks recently? She still seemed to be so neat. She hadn’t given up the fight yet. Did she perhaps lose her house recently, to the Camp Fire forest fire in Paradise, where seventeen thousand houses burnt down?
How do you respond to disaster that attacks at the end of your life? After you spent a lifetime working hard and doing your utmost best not to fall, not to lose your balance? And suddenly you lose everything, you are in the street, you sleep on the sidewalk, and it’s the last chapter.
I didn’t do anything for this woman. I could have invited her to sleep in one of our rooms. We have several empty rooms. And adding her to our dinner table would hardly make any difference in our budget... leave comment here
© Tom Kando 2019;All Rights Reserved
11 comments:
Wow! What a beautiful story... and description of life today in US. I, too, could be just as "lucky" to be a homeless... but much training and culture has us believing we have "chosen" a better life when in fact life has simply dealt us the hand we each have. True, occasionally we do find ourselves chosen to live a different path for the better but it could have been just as easily the other.
Anyway, Tom, you sure captured my heart in sharing yourself, your view of life and your feelings so openly.
Bill
Quelle belle histoire! Emotionente!
Tom, this is a very important post on your blog. I was very glad to see it and to hear of the connection you feel with these people on the street. There must be close to 1000 up and down Arden and the surrounding area. Just one of many Achilles heels of this wonderful country.
Beautiful message, Tom. Thank you.
Thank you all for your comments.
I tried my French, for this one, I'm not sure why. To see how it would feel, I suppose. Obviously, the subject I write about doesn't know national boundaries. There are beggars and homeless people in France as well as in America. I remember them all too well, growing up in Paris.
Maybe I am hoping to broaden the readership. I always think of this blog as very international. Well, there is Marja's French response, so that's nice...
Merci. Excellent!!
Claude
Ha, merci!
Enfin un Francais qui reagit !
I feel your pain as you feel hers. With each encounter we are forced to ask ourselves, what should I do? What can I do? The systematic issues that lead to that moment on the street are so big, and our own reasonable fear to "get involved" is so great. The best I can tell myself is that the first step is to respect and treat the homeless with dignity. Which you did.
Thanks, Amy,
your words are wise.
Why not try to get to know her some more? Maybe if you are honest with her about your yearning to help her she could help you! Say that you would like to help her in some way. I've found after some trial and error that homeless people tend to know what they need better than anyone else, even if it is crack!
I used to invite homeless people to sleep on my sofa as a younger man. I was always clear it was just for the night because my parents had a couple of problems getting people out. I never had a bad experience but I stopped when I had kids. I'm wondering now whether I would go back to that after the kids are grown up and out. I hope so.
Hi Tomi:
I have no idea where the lady is now, so even if I wanted to befriend her, it would be hard to find her.
As to inviting strangers (in need) into your home: there was a time when I, too, was more willing to "put my money where my mouth is,” so to speak: When I was a university student in Amsterdam and I lived in an apartment, I invited a Senegalese “drifter” (Pierre) to stay with me. He did, then wore out his welcome by staying many weeks, plus dealing drugs from my apartment. Later, also in Amsterdam (I was already married by then), I opened my home to an American “hippie.’ he too, ended up staying for several weeks...
But, now? It’s asking a lot...Anita and I are both in our seventies...I’m not sure how something like this would work out...Helping one’s fellow humans is of the essence, of course, but there are legitimate questions as to HOW to do this...
Clearly, the chief line of attack has to be providing shelters, food and other assistance at public expense, to have policies and resources in place to deal with the growing problems of poverty and homelessness...There is SOME of this, but not nearly enough...
Anyway, thanks for your response...
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